How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations

Having difficult conversations is part of the job of being a manager.

That does not make it any easier.  Most people don’t like conflicts and usually strive to help everyone get along. 

But as their manager, you sometimes need to express hard truths in order to solve a problem or get someone moving in the right direction.

Here are five steps you can take to help prepare for having a difficult conversation.

🎯 Step 1 - Establish your Goal

You need to clearly understand what the goal of the conversation.  Is it to tell the employee something, is it to learn something from them, or do they need to say something or learn something. Once you know exactly what needs to happen, you are more likely able to actually achieve it.

🗣️ Step 2 - Set the Right Tone

How do you want the conversation to start? What is needed to make the employee feel safe and comfortable sharing their thoughts with you?  At the same time, you need to communicate the appropriate seriousness of the discussion.

🧗‍♀️ Step 3 - Identify Obstacles

Anticipating reactions such as defensiveness, anger, or becoming withdrawn will allow you to devise strategies to navigate these challenges effectively. Be sure to include the obstacles you might face too.  If you are afraid to say the difficult thing, that is also an obstacle that you need to overcome.

🧭 Step 4 - Plan for the Obstacles

Once you know the obstacles you can expect, you can anticipate them and plan around them.  For instance, if the employee reacts angrily, what do you need to do to remain calm and focused?  Or, if they become quiet, what questions might you ask to draw them out?

🏆 Step 5 - What are the Benefits?

Finally, what is the benefit of having this difficult question? What does this conversation allow to happen or prevent happening?  And is the conversation worth it?  The answer is probably yes.

Following these steps will help you prepare and get you in the right headspace for a successful conversation.

Good luck - you’ve got this!